Another night of drinkin, smokin, Bon Jovi, and words without g's....not gangstas but the seventh letter of the alphabet. I'm off.
So I'm writing this because I overheard it today and it bothered me a bit.
I really don't like(read:can't stand it) when people say that they are "going to listen to records." Emphasis on "records." Fuck you. What the hell is on a record? MUSIC! Why can't you just say "I'm gonna go and listen to some music."? Why must you pretend to be better than me cause you listen to "records" or watch some "films"? I'm not really mad. I'm not.
I'm jealous.
When you say in your pretentious tone "I'm going back to the house to listen to some old jazz records" people usually nod with a sort of I wish I was doing that kind of admiration. But when I tell people "I'm going back to the house to watch some old Betas" people normally laugh in my face. I didn't even tell them what I was gonna watch! You could be going to your house to listen to old Loverboy ALBUMS, or Autograph ALBUMS, or maybe even some Rick Astley ALBUMS. Why the hell do you get the positive nod?
Its not like I said "Dudes, I'm sorry I can't hang tonight but I'm going back to my house to watch Cocoon and Short Circuit on my BetaMax. I just can't get enough of that Steve Gutenberg!"
Let me break it down in "Things to Make Blynch Cringe" MadLib:
Yeah, so me and my agent were at the (name of an overpriced too cool for you bar) drinking some (name of the drink they're having this month on sex and the city) and (insert name of an f-list celebrity) was totally checking me out.
I can't believe that you haven't heard of (name of person/band that no one but their mother has ever heard of). That is where (name of the new it band) totally stole all of their ideas from.
Ughh, I stopped using (name of a very popular every day product) cause they support (the new thing to hate for the week brought to you courtsey of the internet).
Now I'm not saying that I'm above being pretentious. NOT AT ALL. There are many times that you will catch me saying things such as "I'm going to drink some (Nattys) with (Ray)." OR "I'm going to the (bathroom) to (take a shit)."
I really don't have a problem with any of the people that I just picked on, cause I'm sure there really is stuff that I'm pretentious about and don't even realize it, I just wanted to say it.
I guess its back to my Felini and Bergman films.