Sunday, February 01, 2004

what inanimate object am I cooler than?

my "soccer dog" vhs tape.
i'm so much cooler than that stupid movie.
i don;t even know why i have this damn thing.
man, soccer dog is just Air Bud's crappy cousin. just like how Gordy is Babe's crappy step brother.
i'm cooler than soccer dog for sure. i could kick hsi ass at soccer. all i'd have to do is kick him int he face and he'd probably die right there on the field. but i guess i'd get a red card for that.
befor soccer dog, i thought for a split second that i was cooler than glu sticks... but then i thoguht...
glue sticks stick things together, and that means they might HELP some really cool objects stick together like subway cards and subway stamps that have lost their stickiness... OR they might help elementary school hand turkeys stick to construction paper. nobody's cooler than elementary school hand turkeys with smiles. glue sticks help stick cool things together which means glue sticks are unselfish, courteous, objects that give a little bit of themselves to help other things stick together. they sacrafice their body to help things stick together. glue sticks have to be the most gracious, loving, selfless objects ever. not like that damned soccer dog. i hate that son of a bitch piece of shit. he can't even talk! he can play soccer but that's all. i don't even think he's very good. the other teams just suck. i hate him. they airbrushed out his balls on the cover of the box.

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