Saturday, May 22, 2004

the following

are lip glosses that i own now...

amyethiyst sour gramp

sapphire berry

diamond idciting
oh, my reality IS REAL, duh.

Just one of those moments

So I'm gonna preface this a bit.
I'm laughing so hard right now its a little hard to tkype.
I'm also bleeding a little bit from themouth.
Now, I'm bleeding cause I just punched my self in the face really hard.
Fucki t. I'm leaving it at that cause I can.
The first rule of blynch is you don't talk about blynch.

Friday, May 21, 2004

I'm sorry...

I hate using this blog for an advertisement, but I feel I must.
I watch quite a bit of TV, and for the last two months I feel as though I have found the best show on TV at the moment.
Kenny vs. Spenny.
This show is fucking great. I don't even want to describe the premise. I just want you guys to trust me on the fact that this show rules. I don't think it is in any danger of getting canceled, but please watch and support this show. If you like it, tell everyone you know. I really think it might be the only good "reality" show on TV.
If you honestly don't like it I'll buy you a beer.

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Pants

Random person on street, let's call him Jim: "Hey Caseee, what are you up to today?"
Caseee: "Not much, just overnighting some pants to Oklahoma."
Jim with stupid hat: "What, why would you do that?"
Caseee: "Shutup, why do you wear such a stupid hat?"

Names have been changed to protect the inocent.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Morning Star Farms

http://morningstarfarm.net/
These people specialize in the sale of Midget Goats and Dwarf Rabbits.

http://mysite.verizon.net/res1ev60/morningstarvaulters/
I think these people are training for Rad II, "this time Cru saddles up".

Do not

I repeat. DO NOT!!!!!!!!!!! Watch this sober.
http://www.pendland.com/html/cow.html

been a while

it's been a while since i posted on the blog, but that's natural. sometime's you have to break away from the routine. i will say that readers (meaning ray, blynch and friends) should expect some very good blogs from me in the near future. i'm gonna make some blog masterpieces. i promise. in fact... i'm gonna start right now.

"who here likes Morning Star Farms Microwave Buffalo Wings? please raise your hands."

-derek

Sunday, May 16, 2004

stee writes from atlanta

I sorta didn't want to call Blynch out on this, but I needed to. After talking a lot of smack, Blynch lost the Dave & Busters Olympics to a Los Angeleno. Very sad.

As punishment, Blynch had to be my Trucker Bitch for a round of "18 Wheeler." Rest assured, Blynch tooted the horn very well.

Friday, May 14, 2004

Austin Update

I. You don't get dental as a strip club DJ
II. I told you so
III. Strippers are dumb
IV. There is a Waffle House in Austin

carry on...

Thursday, May 13, 2004

it finally occurred to us that upsidedown would make them spin backwards. still didn't occur to eat 'em despite the rumor of paltry poultry palette similarities. chickens are too simple to manipulate, we voted. just the inkling of their taste reminded us of the lab. chocolate lab. chocolate dog. dogs made of ice cream. Easter profits rise on rumors of canine delicious.

Meanwhile, eucalyptus, scarce, despite the complete absense of importation clauses. the koalas, slow and wise, but not smart enough to quit fucking. Then again, who is?, we voted. The scarcity of depression buffet made their breath foul and excited them into more difficult targets, even armed with automatic weapons (rocks), we voted. 6am snuck up like a freak wink and it was time to hunt. for the RECORD, I voted "no" on calling it a "hunt". Eight square miles and 30,000 koalas. we couldn't throw a rock without hitting cuddly, and we didn't. The End.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

last night

i polished a few more calluses off my soul
i sent a few more cells on the roller coaster to heaven (six flags over brain stem)
i appreciated a few oklahoma trees
oh flipside is a comin soon

lost: marbles
last seen: they snuck out sometime between last flipside and two minutes ago, possibly disguised as texas nattys

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

WHOA!

The blog has freakin changed again. The whole entry format is different.
Weirdest thing from last week:
Casey and I went to the boobie bar for some cheap drinks and to see my buddy Skippy. We got all that, but as a bonus we got to see Jessica Alba at the boobie bar.

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Stupid

I forgot what I was gonna say.

Monday, May 03, 2004

oh crap not again

I have the tank of death, and by that i mean i put fish in the aquarim and then they are happy and swim around and bump there faces on the glass, i feed them, there happier ; but when i go to bed and wake up the next morn one comittes suicide or the other beat him up or something fucked up, and i have to give him the ol "flush funneral".
but i one trooper still living, old little catfish charile, he still kicking......wait still swimming,

mor later

maybe charlie's an assaisan !