Wednesday, September 29, 2004

from red

vowels cost money

Monday, September 27, 2004

tequila haircut decision

click here for a very proud moment

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

they call her hot sauce, she's hot n spicy

today, I bought three new condiments and added them to my array of sauces. Like the last straw, these 3 new ones added to the weight of the many condiments already in our refrigerator door and bent the door hinges so that it wouldn't shut. My roommate made me start keeping the ones in glass bottles on the inside shelves.

my condiment collection is rivaled only by my body spray and lotion collection.

Monday, September 20, 2004

uh oh it's magic

ok people, especially Blynch, the jukebox of knowledge, I am making a mixed CD of songs where the word Magic is in the title or is at least featured prominently in the lyrics. Who can help me out? You get a star if you can come up with one I haven't thought of yet. GOOD songs, people.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

happy endings

last weekend was my dad's 60th birthday. we spent it at the cabin on lake whitney. it was relaxing, fun, and mildly celebratory. saturday morning we awoke to find a ancient, cute, burry, deaf, loving, smelly, blind, loving, loving, bleeding cyst eyed cocker spaniel at the doorstep. this dog looked like hangover in purple collar, but until roughly two weeks ago was obviously someone's pet. i gave her a bath, food and water, clipped the burrs out, and pinch-plucked most of the fleas. posted a sign at the local mart. inquired with neighbors. left a description with B.A.R.K. (Bosque Animal Rescue Kennel), which is volunteer and only has an answering machine. sunday morning came and we had to go. Todd and i drove 50 miles to the nearest real shelter in waco.

i received a phone call this morning from the old lady that runs B.A.R.K. she was toothache sweet and this is how i imagine her.

she explained that a kind elderly gentleman

had called her about an ancient, cute, burry, deaf, loving, smelly, blind, loving, loving, bleeding cyst eyed cocker spaniel. he misses her terribly. could it be???? a peaches and herb moment???!!???

the dog was put to sleep two days ago.

i used to have overdraft protection at the karma bank. after this morning's call, they'll probably close my account.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

the only reason

i keep 'steve miller's greatest hits' in my van is so i can make out with strippers.

-Red a.k.a. oklahoma blynch

Saturday, September 11, 2004


If you guys are done with this place, so am I.
NO MAS!!!!
If you didn't want to be drunk here any more you should have let me know. Rude.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004


written as the sun came up
Dear Texas,
I know we said we wouldn't do this, but I miss you so much sometimes it makes me pee red. But as my pee starts to get more red than Yakoff Smirnoff I wonder if its just you or my friends that I miss. This might sting a little, but I think I'd pick them over you any day of the week. Please stop crying Texas. Its not you. Its me. We couldn't be this good without you though. You're what holds everything together. It tears me apart that we can no longer be together, but you can always count on the fact that the eyes of Blynch will be upon you.
Love ya more than Salt Lick,
PS You still rule my bathroom (wink wink)
PSS Damn you look good at dawn.

That is exactly as it appears on the piece of paper that I wrote it on. Hooray beer.