Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Dog Therapy

no phone.
house full of shit and piss water (still).
warrant out for my arrest.

but man oh man...
it all goes away when i get to shoot that fuckin' dog with the B.B. gun.
for a year now it has patronized my friends and i... screaming and spitting knives and tuning forks, scratching it's canines across the top of our skulls like ice skates on rusty steel. firing flathead nails into our minds and pinching our nerves.

for the past week and a half the dog has been jumping into my back yard and running up to my window at 5:30 AM to bark and scream at my head.
when it does this i get excited,
because i KNOW i get to shoot it with my B.B. gun which up until now, has served no immediate purpose.
ray and matt bought me the B.B. gun for my birthday a year ago.
it has now become the best present ever.

when that dog comes into my backyard it feels like christmas morning.
all my worries disappear and i revel in feelings of REVENGE for the year of torture this dog has bestowed upon us.
just like x-mas. CHRISTMAS REVENGE.
i used to immediately run outside and shoot it...
but now i open the bathroom window like a sniper because the devil has grown wise to the sound of the back door.

once i shoot the devil, it never returns to the same place, and lately, his visits have become less frequent. but every now and then... he appears again... and i raise the window quietly and cock the gun with a smile. i have learned to adjust my aim to compensate for the arched path of the BB. i hit the devil every time now. and when i do...

he YELPS and runs to the back of the yard. in desperation he climbs the chain link fence like a cat (it's very odd to see a dog CLIMB a fence) and does not make a sound for hours afterwards.

no phone.
house full of shit and piss water (still).
warrant out for my arrest.

but i get to shoot the devil... and it's legal.
i get to shoot the fucking devil.


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