Friday, October 28, 2005

a new bar to FUCK WITH

guess who just opened up a brand new bar down the street from my house?


THE mother fucking BACHELOR.

that's right.
last year's bachelor (or he might be the winner of the bachelorette) was born in oklahoma and he has returned to his homeland to build a hip, new, los angeles bar right down the street from my house! it's called NOVA and it's all the rage. it has valet parking DIRECTLY in front of the parking lot. that's right, valet parking in OKLAHOMA. we finally got it. now I can pay some guy to move my car seven feet from where i drop it off! that's great news because i'll only have to walk ten feet to get to the front door! i usually have to walk twenty feet when i go to less stylish bars.

NOVA is going to be a trend setter here. i can tell. i thought "LiT" and the "SKKYBAR" (that's right, our SKKYBAR has two Ks) would show oklahoma the LA lifestyle but i was wrong. THE BACHELOR is going to do it.

i can't wait to eat a cucumber wrap, drink a spritzer, and give THE BACHELOR my head shots. maybe he can introduce me to gary mann!! you know, get my foot in the door. since i used to live in LA i bet we have a lot in common.

keeping with the scene, NOVA serves a special drink called "The LA" or "The Los Angeles Cocktail".

It is as follows:

1 1/2 oz blended whiskey
1/4 oz sweet vermouth
juice of 1/2 lemons
1 tsp powdered sugar
1 whole egg
1 pair of crushed sunglasses*
2 scoops of shmooze*

Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into a whiskey sour glass, and serve.

*optional ingredients added by derek

Oklahoma's own Toby Keith has finished building his "I Love this Bar and Grill" and now The Bachelorette Man has "Nova". If I could only become a successful director I could build FARM!, a restaurant where you get to eat INSIDE a tractor! It'll spray oil and dirt every ten minutes and the only thing on the menu will be delicious wheat.


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