Thursday, December 29, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
overheard at christmas
lula, she's cracked out look at
she used to be like this all the time
kiki has been doing that since hisght school
she's so jeaolooust
probably when she moved out
she needs to go to a do g physcic
she 's mad at mee
dunna da dunna do
slurp
if it's 502
call from harper tommy
hellow
merry christmas
mom's cookin
me and briana and ray and kyle
dad and htem areplay ing dominow
ray, i have shiner bo0ckk if you wqnt
"oh thank you"
you want
ok, what's burning
wmust ber this
dad, think you'r e stuff's burnt
it'sn not burnt
sjhor e that picture up, it's making me, i dunno, tha'ts sgoo
poor baby
we saw casey large today, she and a two year hold adn she had red hair and brown eyes, she's so cute
i'm gonna take his shirt off , it keeps getting in his eyes,
don't worry about the baby
i'm kinda scaring myselft
oh oh ohh bbubb bubub bububu bb buooo bbuubobbb booo
mom ita wwas so funny , i was taking jackson's socks off cuz they ewere rtight on his ankles and pixie was on the bed and she weouldn't touch em, i' pu t them on the outside of the blanket and sure enought she would'nt touch em
i had htree of othem red bulls
buill and them are here
would you plaease work baby boy.
woulld buyou please burp baby.
oh ohh baby ouhh
owh owh oh oh there tessa there's your bud theere's your buddy
excuse your daddy, why don't you copy himn and burp.
look at you look at you look at you
hello, hey, it's whitney, what are you dioing
mom, when are we eating
here in about thirty minutes
she used to be like this all the time
kiki has been doing that since hisght school
she's so jeaolooust
probably when she moved out
she needs to go to a do g physcic
she 's mad at mee
dunna da dunna do
slurp
if it's 502
call from harper tommy
hellow
merry christmas
mom's cookin
me and briana and ray and kyle
dad and htem areplay ing dominow
ray, i have shiner bo0ckk if you wqnt
"oh thank you"
you want
ok, what's burning
wmust ber this
dad, think you'r e stuff's burnt
it'sn not burnt
sjhor e that picture up, it's making me, i dunno, tha'ts sgoo
poor baby
we saw casey large today, she and a two year hold adn she had red hair and brown eyes, she's so cute
i'm gonna take his shirt off , it keeps getting in his eyes,
don't worry about the baby
i'm kinda scaring myselft
oh oh ohh bbubb bubub bububu bb buooo bbuubobbb booo
mom ita wwas so funny , i was taking jackson's socks off cuz they ewere rtight on his ankles and pixie was on the bed and she weouldn't touch em, i' pu t them on the outside of the blanket and sure enought she would'nt touch em
i had htree of othem red bulls
buill and them are here
would you plaease work baby boy.
woulld buyou please burp baby.
oh ohh baby ouhh
owh owh oh oh there tessa there's your bud theere's your buddy
excuse your daddy, why don't you copy himn and burp.
look at you look at you look at you
hello, hey, it's whitney, what are you dioing
mom, when are we eating
here in about thirty minutes
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Think about it
So today I was asked "What's the worst thing that could happen to you?" The only thing I could say was "If my buddies stopped being my buddies."
Don't stop being buddies.
Don't stop being buddies.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
recipes
Sam Rockwell in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
2 parts 'powdered' george bush jr.
1 jigger freshly squeezed Elvis
dust the rim with dust
served neat in a an old mcdonald's cup from Owen Wilson's trash can
2 parts 'powdered' george bush jr.
1 jigger freshly squeezed Elvis
dust the rim with dust
served neat in a an old mcdonald's cup from Owen Wilson's trash can
Sunday, December 18, 2005
blynch says..
"white chicks", "soul man", and "birth of a nation" are the most racist movies of all time.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
decisions
Derek tried his best to help me with whthis and India chuckled in the bacckfground. what do you do when you gold the key to all theat is good and bad in the workld IN YOUR HADSND?? the perfect personicfication of transcendionsic boundaries. IN YOUR HANDS. the dve dv it's a DVD. if i can ever get my hands back on it. sweet sweet sweetwater. it is a mentally challenged vs. not mentally challenged soap opera starrtingeh ithe the mentally challenged and the not mentally challenged. i t changed my lif e in the way that flipesdid changed my leife.. i won't mbe the same. IT MADE ME STEAL. this dve was shown to me in confidentce and when one of the non mentally challenged people went to the bathroom, i left my own house withe the dvd and drove drunk in my jeep. i left strangers in my house to steal this dvd. i called derek to find me a safe house for theis dvd. i woke chris chauncey up to try and copy this dvd. i told leno mandel that it was a matter of livfe and edeath for this dvd. NO ONE WOULD HAVE THIS MANGER BABY. i would have given up my life for this edvd , but i'm no dash and ditch retard theif. i borought it back to the rightful owner. I AM STILL SO SAD. I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANYTHING ELESE EVER. I LOVE SWEETWATER . THERE IS stil a chance i will get a copy, but not likely. i was such a dick. but i wanted it REAL BAD. I WANTED IT REAL BAD. REALL REALL BAD. SO GOOD BAD GOOD. GOWD DAMN GOOD. JE FOR GET IT. TOO GOOD. YOU'LLL NEVER KNOW.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Sunday, December 11, 2005
found
one lighter. lost.. the three people i found in the span of an hour in l.a. that had no idea what the pattern 'plaid' was.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
one of five people absconded with my lighter at some hoochies house this morning so i sat on a no-cushioned couch on the curb so they wouldn't slip past me. lemme tell ya, hollywood stays open all night. one guy had not been siailing for awhile but learned on chhesapeake bay . no one would talk to me. i got really cold at 7 so i called a cab. i hope nick has my lighter. i think he accidentally pocketed it when he was trying to jupm up and burn the old american flag that i unfurled with the cement shovel i borrowed and returned from the s-s10 pick-up truck that was parked infront of the couch that i lived on for too long. those girls were kindof bitches. and by bitches, i mean cunts.
i just bought a pear at a 7-11 and it tasted exactly like an apple.
what gives? why does this pear taste like an apple?
what gives? why does this pear taste like an apple?
Friday, December 09, 2005
What Jungle
Who invited the stupid jungle? that guy is an asshole. Last time he came to a party he propostined my sister in a suggestive manner.
Jungles proposition, other people don't!.!.!.!.
Jungles proposition, other people don't!.!.!.!.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
in all fairness
the blog posts are in central time so when i'm rock-starrin at 4:50 in the a.m., it's only 2:50 in the city of dreams. you have to sleep to dream... or nightmare. night night. wait, if you have night mares, shouldn't there be day unicorns, or morning ponies. got it.. dawnkies. pleasant daytime nap drifts are dawnkies. i'm gonna go have nightmares about dawnkies. it took sooo long to type this withough t mistakes. muther fucker.
The lost BLOG
I came here to make a nonsense blog about sun chips and how much fun they were or something and then I saw the published/invisible blog about potatoes and ketchup. I didn't write any of that and my name is on it. What the hell?
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Uhh Ohh
Christine is a potato hider
John-Scott has fudge on his face. Maybe he can wipe it off withthe potato inhis hand
Stick your finger in this potatIkk
Jake got stuck in an elevator. Who the
john scott just put ketchup on casey's penis. really. i'm scared. save me.
John-Scott has fudge on his face. Maybe he can wipe it off withthe potato inhis hand
Stick your finger in this potatIkk
Jake got stuck in an elevator. Who the
john scott just put ketchup on casey's penis. really. i'm scared. save me.
Saturday, December 03, 2005
anti bodies
first night in 9 days that i have ben endulging in the booze. last day of anit biotics and i missed two. i'll take them tomorrow when they migh tactually work. i got an infection in my arm that looked like an evil germ fraternity had gang sex with the smallest of scrapes and i got pregneatn with all their babiews. no, fuck YOU, my arm babies don't have to PLEDGE, they are LEGACY. DELTA THETA GRTOSS RULES. OINTMENT SHOTGUN.
honesty:
i could n't take my pain medication in the mornin before i drove so i drove around a l.a. alot in pain al ot which was kindof fun because it actually validated my l.a. traffic feelings. i would just smoke and eat popsicles. what a weirdo. BUT, i know damn i meant to type now, ... do vooer. i now have pain medication left over l. i wll take some tomorrow night with booze and i mean to blog.
sometimes you get drunk and order good food and then you wake up ta find (that ta was supposed to be and but i just went with it, that s good typing improv self back pat slef back pat self back pat your not my dad fishin) do over
sometimes you get drunk and order food and then wake up and find great leftovers in the fridge. sometimes yuou get sick and find gereat leftoves in your brain. back space is for tatoos.
honesty:
i could n't take my pain medication in the mornin before i drove so i drove around a l.a. alot in pain al ot which was kindof fun because it actually validated my l.a. traffic feelings. i would just smoke and eat popsicles. what a weirdo. BUT, i know damn i meant to type now, ... do vooer. i now have pain medication left over l. i wll take some tomorrow night with booze and i mean to blog.
sometimes you get drunk and order good food and then you wake up ta find (that ta was supposed to be and but i just went with it, that s good typing improv self back pat slef back pat self back pat your not my dad fishin) do over
sometimes you get drunk and order food and then wake up and find great leftovers in the fridge. sometimes yuou get sick and find gereat leftoves in your brain. back space is for tatoos.
Last but not least
Are you ready?
Dont type are you ready
enter
don't type enter hit enter
hsssssyshsysysys
THE SUN ALWAYS WINS
as stenogriphied by casey and spoken by blynch
Dont type are you ready
enter
don't type enter hit enter
hsssssyshsysysys
THE SUN ALWAYS WINS
as stenogriphied by casey and spoken by blynch
Here I comeagain onmy own.
You guys have no fucking idea how hard I'mrocking right now-blynch
Who knew david bowie lived on flat rock islnand. ididn't know. Did you? --Casey
I couldn't spell what I was trying to tyupesober much less inthis inthis sthate. - my spelling
people in thistownlove the ltter N. they build their housese as temples to said letter. except for thatone guy that loves J. Helive us thestreet and trhows feces at kids.
...so then this midget came out of nowhere and ate her shit-Joey
and the chicken dinner goes to .....BLYNCH
Who knew david bowie lived on flat rock islnand. ididn't know. Did you? --Casey
I couldn't spell what I was trying to tyupesober much less inthis inthis sthate. - my spelling
people in thistownlove the ltter N. they build their housese as temples to said letter. except for thatone guy that loves J. Helive us thestreet and trhows feces at kids.
...so then this midget came out of nowhere and ate her shit-Joey
and the chicken dinner goes to .....BLYNCH
give me a challenge
/i\ will piss or shit in allten bathroooms than you very bmuch.-bl7jch
goldne borwon,I sadi golden borown - CASEYS
dude.seriously. your sister had a vbrown pussy-benphillips
Who wants an extra fewro I have a spare. I will cook it up for you> Ithere are two ovens with withc tofry it.
The only nobele proffesion is a jizz mopper=Mr.Belvedere
except for throwing knifesat your wifes face - CARNEY
I live for pussy and money-SenorCreepy
who invitedthe sun.Iknow I didn't the last timewe wnet toe to toe..........I METLTEDDDDDDDDDD
You can't eve follow a sand graph-Casey AND blynch to jake.
but what about the muslims.
Casey wins.
goldne borwon,I sadi golden borown - CASEYS
dude.seriously. your sister had a vbrown pussy-benphillips
Who wants an extra fewro I have a spare. I will cook it up for you> Ithere are two ovens with withc tofry it.
The only nobele proffesion is a jizz mopper=Mr.Belvedere
except for throwing knifesat your wifes face - CARNEY
I live for pussy and money-SenorCreepy
who invitedthe sun.Iknow I didn't the last timewe wnet toe to toe..........I METLTEDDDDDDDDDD
You can't eve follow a sand graph-Casey AND blynch to jake.
but what about the muslims.
Casey wins.
give me a challenge
/i\ will piss or shit in allten bathroooms than you very bmuch.-bl7jch
goldne borwon,I sadi golden borown - CASEYS
dude.seriously. your sister had a vbrown pussy-benphillips
Who wants an extra fewro I have a spare. I will cook it up for you> Ithere are two ovens with withc tofry it.
The only nobele proffesion is a jizz mopper=Mr.Belvedere
except for throwing knifesat your wifes face - CARNEY
I live for pussy and money-SenorCreepy
who invitedthe sun.Iknow I didn't the last timewe wnet toe to toe..........I METLTEDDDDDDDDDD
You can't eve follow a sand graph-Casey AND blynch to jake.
but what about the muslims.
Casey wins.
goldne borwon,I sadi golden borown - CASEYS
dude.seriously. your sister had a vbrown pussy-benphillips
Who wants an extra fewro I have a spare. I will cook it up for you> Ithere are two ovens with withc tofry it.
The only nobele proffesion is a jizz mopper=Mr.Belvedere
except for throwing knifesat your wifes face - CARNEY
I live for pussy and money-SenorCreepy
who invitedthe sun.Iknow I didn't the last timewe wnet toe to toe..........I METLTEDDDDDDDDDD
You can't eve follow a sand graph-Casey AND blynch to jake.
but what about the muslims.
Casey wins.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
The Blog of Hate
That's right this is a seriously hateful blog. First off I hate diet pepsi. But why do I hate diet pepsi when I love natural light? Isn't it the same basic principal. But I don't really like Pepsi and I'm pretty sure Natural would be AWESOME so now I'm confused. What I also hate is that I take things too far. Screw all you not too far takers in the world that look down on us gun jumpers. When I want to do something. I'm going to fucking do it and I don't give a possems nut what any one else says. That's probably a lie and I'll probably delete this blog in the mornign. Some people may read my thoughts and think I'm an angry person. I'd like to corner them in a dark alley and explain how that's not true. I like sugar free candy and sentless dryer sheets. Thank you Derek for breaking the akward silence with your song. It's a beautiful hymn in the key of C in case you didn't quite get the melody.
Oh wait, this is suppose to be about hate. Unforutnately I've been sitting here eating Turkey and now I love everyone. Thanks for sitting through my transference/culmination/pidity-pow-pow
Oh wait, this is suppose to be about hate. Unforutnately I've been sitting here eating Turkey and now I love everyone. Thanks for sitting through my transference/culmination/pidity-pow-pow