Wednesday, January 25, 2006

just flashed back to eating dishwashing powder. i was trying to make myself sick so i didn't have to go to school.

god, i hope i was not any older than 7.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

blog at dawn

5:47.

hmm.

wait for breakfast?

hmmmm.

do i even want breakfast?

hmmmmmmm.

i THINK i want breakfast.... but i'm not sure.

hmmmmmmmmmm.

maybe i'll just go to bed and dream about eating breakfast.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

OR... i could eat breakfast THEN go to bed and dream about other things, like naked girls.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

i know. i'll go to bed, dream about naked girls eating breakfast, then get up and eat breakfast.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

yes.

i'll do that.


of course, what's really going to happen is:
i'm going to go to bed,
try to dream about naked girls,
end up dreaming about spiders and homeless men,
and then wake up starving with a stomach ache.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

i've had this discussion with some of y'all before. i don't cry. i don't know why. i just don't. last night i felt the potential for one coming on so i honored it. i went to my room. shut the door. threw all of my stuff off the bed. pity blogged. set the ipod to play beck's 'sea change' through my old clock radio. and bawled. old testament cry. some out loud. some so loud that the pillow couldn't muffle. then i thought, " i should get a picture of this ". my camera was on the nightstand. i reached out from under the covers. fumbled around and dragged the camera into my covered realm. batteries dead.

mad. crying is silly. laugh. pouty sleep. i wanted those pictures sooo bad.

i kinda ended up having fun.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

HELP.

Does anyone remember, back in the late 90's, a French song on the radio that was sung by a 4 year old? I think it was a late 90's song. During the chorus the little kid would say: "...Ooooh la, la, bebe..." or something to that effect. In the music video he wore a little tuxedo, big sunglasses, and was surrounded by women. What was the name of that damn song? It's driving me crazy.

that crazy stole my heart patch from the sleeve of my favorite jumpsuit

itried to force myselft to gbo out tonight
ended up bback at the house.

i conived to get back here.
i lied aned schemed and plotted
vunerlable
\not even drunk
just tooo alzy to type neat;.
bed good bed.

diareah transvestite clown dragged it's ass across ymy bedroom.
bresty thrift store shart.

playing sea change3 thru an old clock radio
i will cry tonight.
if i stay in, god dammit i will emote.

too bad there's no caps lock for heavy keystrokes.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Happy Birthday

I received this card today and I quote:

"We got some Snow today and i was a shock. Sunday was 80% Monday 32° & Snow. Had Dr. App. in Amarillo.

Have a Happy Birthday
Grandma"

Saturday, January 07, 2006

brokebacklohoma

so i just got back from 7-11. it was really crowded because of the 2:00 beer rush. while i was waiting in line this cowboy walked into the store and told everyone to look out in the parking lot. everyone did. he told everyone to look at the guy sitting in the passenger seat of his pickup. then he proceeded to start yelling this:

(to be spoken with an FFA instructor accent)

"hey! see that guy? see that guy with the cowboy hat on? man, that guy fucks goats! hey everybody! look out the window! see that guy out there? he fucks goats! he does! that son-of-a-bitch fucks goats!"

i started snickering because the cowboy in the parking lot was just sitting there, smiling and waving. he had a really goofy grin with big teeth and he was wearing a stiff, white cowboy hat with a gold band. he looked nice and happy.

the cowboy inside 7-11 was relentless and his dedication almost had me in tears. he was on a mission. he was walking around telling everyone, person to person, that the guy in his pickup likes to fuck goats. he was even calling people on his cell phone to spread the word. finally, the cowboy out in the parkinglot started to realize his friend was making fun of him and decided to walk inside. as soon as he opened the door he yelled:

(to be spoken with a dallas oil tycoon accent)

"hey! is he tellin' everyone i'm gay? i'm not gay! don't believe what that asshole is sayin' because i'm not gay! he's the gay one!"

then the two cowboys started WRESTLING. they ended up getting each other into head locks with one of 'em yelling: "i'm not gay mother fucker! you're the gay one!"

they proceeded to wrestle this way the ENTIRE time i was in the store until it was finally broken up after the goat fucker knocked over the salted nuts rack.

fuck brokeback mountain. this was the best show i've seen all week.