Saturday, January 07, 2006


so i just got back from 7-11. it was really crowded because of the 2:00 beer rush. while i was waiting in line this cowboy walked into the store and told everyone to look out in the parking lot. everyone did. he told everyone to look at the guy sitting in the passenger seat of his pickup. then he proceeded to start yelling this:

(to be spoken with an FFA instructor accent)

"hey! see that guy? see that guy with the cowboy hat on? man, that guy fucks goats! hey everybody! look out the window! see that guy out there? he fucks goats! he does! that son-of-a-bitch fucks goats!"

i started snickering because the cowboy in the parking lot was just sitting there, smiling and waving. he had a really goofy grin with big teeth and he was wearing a stiff, white cowboy hat with a gold band. he looked nice and happy.

the cowboy inside 7-11 was relentless and his dedication almost had me in tears. he was on a mission. he was walking around telling everyone, person to person, that the guy in his pickup likes to fuck goats. he was even calling people on his cell phone to spread the word. finally, the cowboy out in the parkinglot started to realize his friend was making fun of him and decided to walk inside. as soon as he opened the door he yelled:

(to be spoken with a dallas oil tycoon accent)

"hey! is he tellin' everyone i'm gay? i'm not gay! don't believe what that asshole is sayin' because i'm not gay! he's the gay one!"

then the two cowboys started WRESTLING. they ended up getting each other into head locks with one of 'em yelling: "i'm not gay mother fucker! you're the gay one!"

they proceeded to wrestle this way the ENTIRE time i was in the store until it was finally broken up after the goat fucker knocked over the salted nuts rack.

fuck brokeback mountain. this was the best show i've seen all week.


Blogger oakleyses said...

burberry outlet online, coach outlet, longchamp outlet, oakley vault, polo ralph lauren, michael kors outlet online, nike air max, louis vuitton outlet, burberry outlet online, ray ban outlet, louis vuitton, longchamp handbags, oakley sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton outlet online, red bottom shoes, coach outlet store online, nike free, michael kors outlet online, nike outlet, nike air max, louis vuitton handbags, prada handbags, true religion, tiffany and co jewelry, polo ralph lauren outlet, gucci handbags, jordan shoes, prada outlet, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet online, coach purses, michael kors handbags, chanel handbags, kate spade outlet, christian louboutin outlet, true religion outlet, michael kors outlet, christian louboutin, louis vuitton outlet, michael kors outlet store, tiffany jewelry, coach outlet, kate spade outlet online, tory burch outlet online, longchamp outlet online, ray ban sunglasses

6:25 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

louis vuitton, north face, nike air max, air max, true religion outlet, mulberry, hollister, ralph lauren, michael kors canada, sac michael kors, true religion jeans, ray ban uk, sac louis vuitton, nike roshe, nike blazer pas cher, burberry pas cher, timberland, louis vuitton pas cher, ralph lauren pas cher, converse pas cher, ray ban pas cher, guess pas cher, sac vanessa bruno, air max pas cher, hermes pas cher, tn pas cher, hollister, new balance pas cher, scarpe hogan, barbour, air jordan, vans pas cher, nike roshe run, longchamp, nike air max, louis vuitton uk, nike free, lululemon, oakley pas cher, michael kors uk, abercrombie and fitch, nike free pas cher, north face pas cher, longchamp pas cher, chaussure louboutin, nike air force, lacoste pas cher

6:28 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

jimmy choo shoes, asics shoes, new balance outlet, soccer jerseys, celine handbags, instyler ionic styler, nike huarache, replica watches, ferragamo shoes, canada goose outlet, soccer shoes, mont blanc pens, wedding dresses, abercrombie and fitch, uggs outlet, valentino shoes, uggs on sale, ugg, chi flat iron, bottega veneta, reebok shoes, babyliss pro, birkin bag, mac cosmetics, vans outlet, hollister, canada goose, giuseppe zanotti, north face jackets, insanity workout, mcm handbags, ugg soldes, uggs outlet, nike trainers, canada goose outlet, marc jacobs outlet, canada goose outlet, nfl jerseys, ghd, nike roshe, lululemon outlet, ugg boots, ugg outlet, herve leger, p90x workout, longchamp, ugg boots, north face outlet, beats headphones

6:31 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

hollister, gucci, ray ban, hollister clothing, converse shoes, air max, juicy couture outlet, karen millen, pandora jewelry, louis vuitton canada, louboutin, vans, swarovski jewelry, moncler, timberland shoes, moncler, montre femme, canada goose pas cher, canada goose, juicy couture outlet, thomas sabo uk, canada goose, canada goose, wedding dress, converse, moncler, moncler outlet, ugg, uggs canada, replica watches, pandora uk, pandora charms, swarovski uk, hollister canada, moncler, parajumpers outlet, coach outlet, iphone 6 case, moncler outlet, oakley, nike air max, supra shoes, toms outlet, lancel, links of london uk, ralph lauren, moncler, baseball bats

6:45 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home