Saturday, July 22, 2006

good jog

111 my motore dcycle dowsnt go this fast he said quickly ... i didnt buy the hlemet but i shoud have... leater.. and a ll who neesds to type when the night is perfect. pervectly wrontg.. i guess i 'm not going to luch tomorrow tieh um with the stripper plscycology . however, this is why i tried....

this is re-posted from the following page

Well I have been annoyed for some time at the use of the word friend. Let me preface by saying that I, Rusty Allen, use the word "husband" in cavalier and pajorative ways. So, not to sound the hypocrate alarm, I will address only this one word and leave all of the other words that I use lightly for another day.
Friend- it sounds so nice. When you introduce- "This is my friend Joe from college," or "Hello friend," or... How often we use the word yet do we realize the social context surrounding it? Someone may believe that by adding you as their friend to their "myspace" page that you are instantaneously labeled as their friend. And if you don't add someone to your "myspace" page who believes they deserve such a title as "friend," then watch out because they will act unkind toward you.
How juvenile we act when we believe that someone is treating us with less respect than we deserve. I have lost count of the number of people that have requested that I add them to my page. It is interesting to see that some people have 1,534 friends. This is not possible unless a friend is an acquaintance.
But who belongs on your page and who belongs on my page? These are questions only we can answer for ourselves. If you want to label an acquaintance as your friend then realize that your real friends are reduced to the same catagory as acquaintance. This is sad. This is American.
I will attempt to catagorize my friends. Why?- you ask? Well because I want you to understand that I value friends- real friends. When I go to the local bar and chat with the guys it is not because we are friends. We chat because we are lonely. We are needy. We are desparate. We are mortal. We are limited. So from these needs and insecurities we develop shallow conversations to make us feel alive yet safe. We want to be safe from hurt but comforted by company- shallow company.
But it is the friendships that we nurture that enable us to share the darker sides of ourself; the wounded parts of ourself; the weak side of ourself. It is at this point where we heal, move on, grow, and mature. Friends do things that inconvenience them to convenience you because of a love (the word is way over-used but I can think of no better one) for you. Friendships are dependent upon motive. Some want to be friends with another because they find them attractive. This brings us back to depth- similar to acquaintance or bar chat.
My friends usually bring something to the table/relationship. One friend is the antithesis to the abercrombie and fitch model. Overweight and broke, this friend has proved to show kindness, generosity, and genuine empathy. These qualities are not found in many people. In fact I find that these qualities are found in few people. This particular friend does not have a bachelors but he is a very intelligent character; business minded; and knowledgeable on a spectrum of topics. I tell people that "he knows everything." But he never broadcasts his point of views. He gives evidence for what he believes. He is NOT one of those people that think they know everything. The "I know everything" trait is a horrible and quick end to a friendship or even a shallow bar conversation. I hate it when people act prideful, arrogant, or slanderous.
My friends don't talk shit about other people- so I know they don't talk shit about me. When someone starts mentioning negative aspects about a persons moral character or physical characteristics I usually begin to defend them even if I don't know them. Who wants to be the topic of gossip? I don't.
My other friend here in Wichita, is a quarky, UNIQUE, deep, and struggling individual. He looks for support from conservative sources for his liberal lifestyle. My mouth usually gets in the way because I try to tell him that the answers do not lie with such sources. We go back and forth. We get no where and I realize- it is moments like these that I enjoy him the most. No advice and no need. Just a knowledge that we are accepted the way we are by each other. He loves to make fun of me and he is one of the few that can do it with out wounding me. He rides the fence between ripping me apart and leaving me in stitches. He is such a smile maker. I love him. Again, very generous and genuine.
Losing either friend will be difficult. Losing both will be very difficult. Which brings me to the end of the summary about my friends and on to catagorizing them.
Higher Primary Friends
are the "best friends." They are rare. You may have one or two or none in your whole lifetime. They would literally die for you. Their love is erotic in the sense that they would do anything for you. Very little limits what they would do for you. They would care for your spouse and children if you die early and would give up a part of themselves to complete you. And the giving is always mutual. This friend has no fear of lending money to you. He never asks for it back. He knows you will repay if you can even if it takes years. And if not- it is then forgotten. Very little phases this friend. They will never forget your birthday or the day you fell of the tractor and nearly died. They are with you for life and death.
Primary Friends
These friends are rare also. They stick by your side and don't complain. They keep track of you only because they miss you when you are not around. Sometimes they may seem to suffocate you but only because you are the only true friend they know. Their love is genuine and transparent. They don't need to tell you but they tell you anyways- they appreciate what you do. It is their soup you drink when you are sick. Conflicts arise and they take their time to think about things. They always return. You both realize that what you have together is better than what either of you could have apart. It is sweet this friendship. It is sweet.
Secondary Friends
These friends come to your parties and call you when you are sick. They think about you from time to time. They care for you but only to a point. The friendship will weaken when the burden of aiding you or helping you becomes more than they receive from the relationship. This friend will be at your wedding and your funeral if he is in town. He will always take you up on a drink. He is sure to pay you back for last week's beer just to keep the table level. Tit for tat.
Primary Peripheral Friends
These peopel call you friends but they are not friends (that is unless you correctly classify them as PPF). They throw your name around like they know you but they don't. They are people you chat with when you go into the bar. They would justify stealing from you. They have no moral obligations to you. They have spoken with you a few times but you just don't know them enough to really trust them. You have many of these so called friends. They are easy to obtain. They come in pollished packages. They make plans with you but never really intend on following through. They talk. They talk. They talk. But their talk is just that.
Secondary Peripheral Friends
These people are everywhere. They fill the Earth but they are not your friends. They talk nice to you when they want something. They are not all bad people. Some are good. This relationship is based solely on convenience and or selfish motives- chatting with someone in the bar. You are polite and friendly out of respect. If you trust you take an increased risk of being wounded. That is all.

republished w/o consetn.



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