Wednesday, January 31, 2007

if you want quality

i suggest having your heart broken graciously and respectfully. it's a thousand times more painful than having it done by an amatuer. the return policy sucks though.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

maybe if they had badges

more people would listen to them

marching bands

despite their imposing uniforms, have no real authority.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Go Army!

i love that all the new recruiting commercials have become so transparent with recent events. it's like those fake slut girl myspace friend requests. i ain't gonna be your friend, army.. you whore.

Monday, January 22, 2007

if trouble is the new present

then january 22nd is my new birthday. thanks for a memorable night. don't be careful what you wish for? be careful what you wish with? no, wait.. be careful who you wish with? be who you wish for with careful. yep. that's the one. where's the toybox for that? wait, i'm not done playing with it.

Saturday, January 13, 2007


Morning Bitches. How you doing Whores?

It's Saturday morning. Mein Geburstag was last night and it was also the first official party at my German apartment. I made a 7 layer dip with 5 layers that brought the house down. It was a smidgen embarrasing to go down and pick up the sandwiches that had been thrown out the window into the courtyard in front of the art store this morning. Probably would have been a good idea to go before the art store opened. Some of that cheese was really smooshed into the sidewalk.

Who want's to play foosball? Come to Germany.

Friday, January 12, 2007

i believe in smiles

and i know we have that consensus.

i'm prettty sure though, we're dwn to winks.
scosmc siwingkds.
who am i kidding. we been a wiinkin from the get go.
scrunchy scriunkchy wink wink.
if we don't get it
nobody will
in theory

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Dear 2006,

Thanks for being over.
Eat shit and die.
PS. Tell 2002 I said hi.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

do you have any idea?

how much you would have to suck for us to care?

fun would have to hate itself redundantly.

i love that my buddies are lettieng me fuck up righ t now. i god bless hopew this is cute. cry laugh. is mad the new funny? goals are the new old? i think i'm hysterical? i call nitsche. nitsche please. nitsche hugs. its not fun. i don't want to win. please. for sake, please. PLEASE.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

ha ha

ok ok, 2006. that was pretty funny i must admit. we did some things i'm not proud of the other night. somehow you knew we were breaking up and you didn't hold it against me. the look on your face when 2007 walked in on us making out, priceless. truly, it doesn't have a price. thanks for watching my jeep in the parking lot of Floor World for two days while 2007 and I cleaned up YOUR mess. thanks for leaving a half pack of cigarettes in the console too, NOT. no hard feelings. i changed the locks so you'll have to knock when you come over but i can't promise i'll answer the door. if you see 1990 around, tell 'em i said "NOT" about the cigarette thing, he thinks i'm hilarious.